The story of sobriety isn’t black and white

On Matt Ziebarth’s first day of law school in 2019, an orientation leader said something that stuck with him for years to come.

“Look to your left and right,” the leader said. “Out of the three of you, one of you will have a problem with alcohol or substance abuse.”

Ziebarth remembers thinking, “Yeah, right, that's somebody else. That will never be me.”

But when the pandemic hit, Ziebarth realized that his relationship with alcohol wasn’t what he wanted it to be. Between his final two semesters at school, Ziebarth enrolled in an inpatient recovery program before moving to an intensive outpatient program.

The biggest challenge, he says, came in acclimating himself to a post-pandemic world—this time, with no alcohol involved. Ziebarth came back to campus ready to finish his degree, bolstered by the support of his professors, but he felt he was missing a different aspect of community—one that actively fostered sobriety.

And that’s when he found DU’s Collegiate Recovery Community (CRC). 

There, Ziebarth was welcomed into a community that didn’t revolve around alcohol or substance use. He says it helped him jumpstart his return to school and provided answers to questions he had about his new lifestyle.

Ziebarth had to learn to reconcile who he was in the throes of addiction with who he wanted to be in recovery—and be comfortable with living in the "gray space" of not knowing immediately what that looked like.

“You're like, ‘Alright, who am I now that I'm in recovery? What does that look like? What does my social setting look like? What does my life look like? Is it different? Is it the same? To have a place where you can feel comfortable and safe—a place where things are set up for that—really helped me,” Ziebarth says.

One of the most valuable things that the CRC offers, Ziebarth says, are events that are alcohol- and substance-free.

“[Our society] centers a lot of networking events or social hours around alcohol,” he says—which gives people in recovery the message that “we don't value you being a part of it, because of your illness or what you struggle with.”

The CRC puts on its own events, like movie nights, but also encourages participants to attend campus events together. Everyone at the CRC comes from different walks of life, Ziebarth says, but they all have at least one thing in common.

“In recovery, in general, it doesn't matter what your background is, doesn't matter how you grew up, doesn't matter what you think, how much money you have, who you are, what your pronouns are, what your gender is, anything about you,” he says. “You all have a commonality: You all are in recovery, and you struggle with addiction.”

The pressure to drink is powerful, especially in college, Ziebarth says.

“In multimedia, movies, commercials, to speak to somebody who you're romantically interested in or to be cool or funny at a party or an event, you think, ‘Oh, I'm supposed to have a couple of drinks, because that'll loosen me up,’ right?” he says.

But one of the most important aspects of recovery, Ziebarth says, is recognizing patterns in your relationship to alcohol.

“When I think about my own journey, it was like, whenever we go out, I'm always the one that's really drunk, or I'm not really acting the way I want to, or it's impacting me afterward, with anxiety,” he says.

The fix? Talking to someone—a friend, a professional or a CRC member. And Ziebarth says it’s important to remember that recovery isn’t always “all or nothing.”

“It's not a ‘black or white, yes or no,’” he says. “So, if you try not drinking for a while, and then you have a drink, and it doesn't impact you the same way, and you feel like you're in control or responsible, well, then you can continue to consume alcohol responsibly, if you feel comfortable.”

Now nearly three years sober, Ziebarth serves as a mentor to several people who are in recovery, something the CRC helped prepare him to do.

He says mentoring someone in recovery is like providing training wheels on the road to sobriety.

“It allows you to help other people who are in a position you were in,” Ziebarth reflects. “You’re able to draw on your own skills, like, ‘Yeah man, when I was first starting, I had no idea what I was doing.’”

Little things like getting coffee or checking in with a phone call can make all the difference in someone’s recovery journey, Ziebarth says.

“You can be there for wins, losses, big, small. Giving back to other people is one of the best things you can do,” he says.

Ziebarth says it’s never too early—or too late—to reexamine your relationship with alcohol. And, he says, collegiate recovery centers are a great place to start.

“Since I personally quit drinking, professionally, my life's never been better. My relationships with my friends and family are great,” he says. “It's never too late to turn around where you're at if you're not happy, if you feel like things aren't going well. So, invest in yourself.”